


Hotel 666

by Souless_Robot



Series: Yugioh Au-gust [6]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types
Genre: Demons, Ettushipping, F/M, Joey Wheeler has had it up to here with these two, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Polarshipping - Freeform, Smut, Succubus Mai Valentine, Supernatural Elements, Threesome - F/M/M, Vampire Kaiba Seto, Vampires, Violetshipping, puppyshipping - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26798098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Souless_Robot/pseuds/Souless_Robot
Summary: Joey just wants to sleep at his stopover in Phoneix before he keeps driving to San Francisco for his little sister's wedding. Unfortunately, when he finally gets into his hotel room it's already occupied by a couple of supernatural guests.AKA Joey walks in on Vampire Seto Kaiba and Sucubus Mai. He regrets everything.
Relationships: Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kaiba Seto, Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kaiba Seto/Kujaku Mai | Mai Valentine, Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kujaku Mai | Mai Valentine
Series: Yugioh Au-gust [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862191
Comments: 12
Kudos: 25





	Hotel 666

**Author's Note:**

> This originally started as the vampire au prompt for Au-gust but then became its own monster. This is me jumping on the smut train a bit as this is the first time I've tried my hand at smut. Who knew it could be so hard? (pun intended) I really love these three being sassy, messes together so please enjoy a spooky story for October!

Joey glared angrily at the keycard in his hand as he slid it through the scanner on the door again. The light flashed yellow twice and then red. The doorknob didn’t click open and he suppressed a groan. He flipped the card sleeve over and blinked at the chicken scratch the receptionist jotted down. If he squinted and tilted his head to the left they kind of looked like numbers. Joey let out a hiss of annoyance as he gathered his ratty green duffle bag off the hotel carpet and tromped back towards the stairs. 

He was exhausted, he'd been driving all day and he wanted nothing more than to check into his hotel room and collapse into sweet oblivion for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, the universe seemed to have other plans. Joey glared at the out of order sign on the elevator doors as he passed. He could do this just six flights down and six flights back up. 

The receptionist was the same teenage boy from earlier. He had his thick headphones on and his nose was buried in a magazine. Joey took a panting breath, wiped the sweat from his brows, and shoved his frustration down. The smile he painted on was straining at the edges as he approached the front desk. 

“Hey- uh,” He started lamely only to realize the kid couldn’t hear him. Joey sighed and rang the bell. The receptionist jolted to attention and pulled his headphones off. 

“Oh, it’s you again.”

“Yeah, me. The key card isn’t working.”

“You sure you were using it on the right room?” Joey took a deep breath, mentally chanting `do not strangle this kid’. 

“I think so, room 666 kind of distinctive, you know.” Joey passed the card sleeve over. The kid flipped it over and grunted non-committedly before rummaging around in his desk and pulling out two new keycards. 

“Probably the magnetic strips. That room is always having issues though. I told the manager he should have someone look at it. Here,” The receptionist passed the cards over again, “they should work now.” 

Joey nodded his thanks and headed back for the stairs. Only six flights up then sleep. 

By the time he made it to the top floor his shoulder and legs were burning from exertion. He glanced down at his watch, great, it was just past midnight. He had six hours before he needed to be on the road headed towards San Francisco. He held his breath as he took the card out and slid it down room 666’s card reader. The light flashed green and the door clicked open. 

He grinned in relief as he wrapped his hand around the doorknob and pushed. The room was dark. Joey dropped his duffle bag by the entrance as the door swung shut behind him. He groped along the wall for a light switch when something moaned from across the room. 

His fingers froze hovering over the switch. What the hell? Was someone in here with him? Shit, this room was right across from the stairs he’d seen way too many murder unsolved shows he was in murder central.

A deep growl echoed around the room as he stood paralyzed along the wall. Should he back out now or face the intruder? He swallowed the lump in his throat. There was only one choice. He would rather get murdered than walk down those stairs again. He steeled his resolve and flicked the switch.

“Oh my- WHAT THE FUCK?” Joey screeched as his eyes adjusted to the now well-lit room. Two figures were crouched over the queen-sized bed- his queen-sized bed!- enthralled in the depths of passion. The sheets were a mangled mess half covering the couple, half strewn about the floor. There was a man with dark brown hair; his chest was bare as the day he was born. Joey swallowed as he took in his jawline. It looked like the guy had walked right out of a modeling agency. He was leaning over a gorgeous woman, her curly blonde hair strewn about the bed like a halo. The sheets obscured the two’s lower halves but from the gentle rocking of their bodies, there wasn’t much left to the imagination. 

Joey froze. They were beautiful. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene no matter how much his brain was telling him he should leave right this second sleep be damned. 

The motion picked up and then the man dove down and bit into the woman’s neck. The woman moaned again, her eyes soft and half-lidded as the man stayed like that for a few minutes before he released the woman and rolled to his side. He propped his head up on his arm as he gave Joey a disinterested stare. His eyes, Joey realized, were a deep crystalline blue. 

“Sorry, sorry I must have the wrong room- really please excuse me.” Joey bowed as he walked backwards trying to retreat out the door and hide the furious blush staining his cheeks. He was going to kill the receptionist. 

“Aww honey, don’t get shy now. I was just enjoying having an audience. Isn’t that right Seto?” The woman purred as she twisted her body around to stare at him, she curled closer to her partner, throwing one of her legs over the man’s. It wasn’t her smooth and full body that caught Joey’s eyes though it was the leathery purple wings that stretched out from her back and the twisted horns that were growing out of her head. 

What the hell? Joey instinctively took a step back, his eyes flickering towards the now closed door. itching to turn tail and run for it, but a small voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to not turn his back on these two. 

“Well, uh so sorry to interrupt I’ll just leave you two-” Joey stammered stepping back again, his hand was brushing the brass of the doorknob, freedom was within reach. 

“ **_Stop_ ** .” The man growls. Every joint in Joey’s body snapped to attention and locked in place. His eyes are incapable of leaving the other man’s. It’s hypnotic how deep his blue eyes are. Joey could practically swim in them. 

Joey fights off the fog that suddenly overtakes his thoughts. It slows him down as a whispering voice tells him to stay right where he is. Joey shakes his head as he grits his teeth and finds his tongue, “I don’t think so.” 

Joey twists his hand around the doorknob and pushes. The door swings out and the light from the hallway pours in. 

The man moves fast. One instant he was lounging naked on the bed, the next he was behind Joey. It was inhuman. Joey isn’t sure what was going on or what hell he had walked into but all he knows is he wants to be gone. He scrambles for the door in a mad dash when something firm wraps around his waist. It yanks him back and the door slams in front of him. The light goes with it and they’re left in complete blackness. There’s the distinctive click of a lock. 

Joey spins, throwing his elbow behind him as he tries to get the man off of him. His elbow meets something solid and cracks. The grip around his waist lessons and Joey hears a curse. Good, serves the fucker right. 

Cold hands are on his chest and they shove hard. The blow knocks him back, he stumbles, hitting the bedside table with a thud. The lamp behind him wobbles at the force. Joey doesn’t even hesitate to grab it. The weight is reassuring in his hands as he lobs it at the other man’s head. If he’s getting murdered he’s gonna make damn sure that he at least gets a couple hits in on his killer. 

Faster than humanly possible the man twists away and the lamp shatters harmlessly against the floor. 

The man’s blue eyes narrow and he lets out a deep snarl. He steps forward and Joey feels pinned in. His eyes dart around looking for an escape, any escape. The demonic woman is still sitting back on the bed watching them like this is some show. He can’t go that way. He glances back towards the door only to be met by a pale arm that blocks his way. His back is literally to the wall as blue eyes close in. They can’t be more than a few inches apart. From this distance, the man’s incisors look longer and sharper than normal. He wouldn’t call those anything except for fangs. He gulps, all Joey wanted to do was go to bed, and instead, he comes face to face with an honest to god vampire and his demon lover. 

“Enough!” The man hisses at him his other hand wrapping around his wrist. Joey flinches back from the sudden cold touch, tugging his wrist away fruitlessly. The vampire’s grip doesn’t budge. 

“Let go of me, you bastard!” Joey has never been anything but stubborn and now doesn’t seem like the time to stop. Joey tugs against the other man’s hold again. 

“Quit yapping human,” The man’s tone is as bored as it is cold as Joey meets his gaze. His eyes are icy and Joey can’t stop the involuntary shiver. The man looked every bit the predator right now. He’s sharp and focused, his lips are slightly parted as he bares his fangs and looms over him. Joey’s knees feel weak. 

“ **_Tell me who sent you_ ** .” The vampire’s tone takes on an odd inflection again. It’s commanding and some part of Joey’s brain wants to comply. His head goes a little fuzzy as a voice tells him to answer. He won’t, he won’t give this bastard the satisfaction. Joey locks his lips and tilts his head away so he doesn’t have to keep looking at the man’s intensely blue eyes. 

“ **_Look at me._ ** ” 

Joey closes his eyes and ignores the foggy feeling, “Go put some clothes on.” He bites out. 

Suddenly the world tilts. Joey lets out an oof as his back smacks into the ground. The force knocks his head back and he can feel his brain rattling around his skull. He swears he can see stars. His eyes flutter open as something heavy settles across his abdomen. The vampire straddles himself across his waist and leans in closer. He uses one arm to twist Joey’s arms over his head and lock them into place. His other hand comes up to grip Joey’s jaw. He tugs it up so he can’t look anywhere but the vampire’s face. 

The vampire has an assessing look on his face like he’s a puzzle that’s missing pieces. “ **_Take your shirt off._ ** ” 

This time the fuzzy feeling barely has time to register when Joey is swatting it to the side, anger taking its place. 

“Excuse me?!” Joey struggles futilely bucking at the man’s weight pinning him to the ground. With that comment and their current position, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that the other man was naked. Oh god, he was naked! Joey blushed as reality hit him and tried to twist his face away. Sharp nails dig into his cheeks refusing to let him look away. He can feel a trickle of warm blood leak down as the nails clip him. 

“How are you doing this?” The vampire's eyes narrow into slits as he tilts his head and gives Joey a scrutinizing once over. Joey is too busy looking at the vampire's chiseled abs. If his arms weren’t pinned he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from running his hands along them to make sure they were real. He raises his gaze as much as he can trying to avoid keeping his roaming eyes from going lower. Something hot pools in his groin and Joey swallows dryly. Shit, what was wrong with him? 

The woman giggles from her place on the bed watching the whole altercation with a bemused look, “I think you might have melted his brain with that order.” She raised her head and sniffed the air lightly. Her eyes flash purple, “Seto do you smell that?”

The vampire tilted his head and breathed in deeply before frowning, “Mai-” He sniffs again, “He smells human. We need to know who sent him and then I need to wipe his memories.” 

Mai rolled her eyes, “Here I thought you were supposed to be the smart one and you’re doubting my nose. I can smell attraction a mile off and there’s something…” She sniffed again, “Distinct about him.” 

“Mai, he’s a risk, don't get attached. He’s not reacting the way he should to my powers.”

“I saw that sweetie, but before you pull out your knives and go back to your medieval ways. Why don’t we try it my way?” The question was followed by a toothy grin, “Now why don’t you bring him over here.”

Joey felt like a piece of meat being eyed by two wolves; he didn’t like this. He tried to move, but his body felt like rubber underneath the vampire- Seto, he supposes. 

“Mai-” 

“Relax Seto this could be fun!” The blonde stood, stepping gracefully across the room. When she reached them she pressed herself into Seto’s back, her wings flaring out behind her as she leaned down to nibble at his ear, “It’s been ages since we had a third.” 

“He’s a human,” Seto sneers, in the dim light his fangs are on full display, “And a mangy looking one at that.” 

Joey has a short temper at the best of times but now he’s been up for going on thirty-six hours and is being argued over like he’s a doll some kids found in the dumpster. He is out of patience.

“At least I’m not some sexed-up pretty boy in a trashy hotel outside of Phoenix!” 

As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets them. His brain-to-mouth filter had never been hooked-up right and it never fails to get him into trouble but here he is about to get murdered in some hotel room by supernatural creatures and his survival instincts hadn’t even phoned in to give their opinion. 

Mai’s lips curl into a pleased smile as she barks out a laugh, “He’s mouthy. Come on Seto you can’t tell me you’re not thinking of everything else he could do with that mouth right now?”

Joey felt his cheeks warm as Seto shifted his weight, turning towards Mai so he could whisper in her ear. It looks erotic and Joey chooses to ignore the way his dick twitches. 

“I could certainly think of a few dozen more productive things, but maybe I’m already satisfied,” Seto rumbles at Mai as he gives her a playful grin. 

“As flattering as that would be, sugar,” Mai runs her hand through his chestnut-colored hair, stroking it softly before tugging sharply on a strand. Seto rolls his head away and hisses. “I know a bald-faced lie when I hear it. You practically collapsed at the last council meeting. Room service is here and what a snack he is!” She smirks her purple eyes lighting up as she waves a hand at Joey. 

Joey did not like where this was going at all. He’d seen enough horror flicks with Yugi to know he was about to end up demon chow in Arizona. Hopefully, they at least leave his body so Serenity could have a proper funeral. 

Seto leans down and they’re chest to chest. The only thing between them is one thin cotton t-shirt. Joey can feel how well muscled he is and his body melts. The vampire releases Joey’s jaw and uses his now free hand to sweep the blond hair away from his neck. Joey stiffens. It’s obvious what’s coming next. Seto dips his head down and Joey closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to watch the life being literally drained from him. Instead, there’s a soft pressure on his cheek as Seto runs his thumb just under the cut he had made earlier and then there’s the sensation of something wet, lapping across his face. Joey flinches back opening his eyes again and he’s met by a coy smirk on the vampire’s lips. He’s toying with him. 

Joey does a one-eighty from fearing for his life to being pissed again. Who did this bloodsucking fucker think he was? If he was going to kill him, he might as well do it, but he wasn’t some toy to be played with and Joey sure as fuck wasn’t playing some cat and mouse game for this guy's sick pleasure. 

“Don’t play with your food.” Mai chastises from overhead, she’s watching them intently again. It must be her thing to just watch. Seto rolls his eyes and gives one last flick of his tongue before he moves his head down to Joey’s neck. He can feel the vampire nuzzling along the vein. His heart pounds. 

There’s another warm lap and that’s the last straw. He's had enough of this and he’s tired of being boneless under someone else’s power. Joey bucks up, using his hips to get as much leverage as he can to try to throw the body off of him. He watches in pleasure as Seto let’s out a groan from the movement. The pleasure instantly turns to mortification as the vampire doesn’t budge but Joey can feel something hard poking his stomach. 

“Feisty puppy,” Seto murmurs softly into his ear. 

“I’m not a dog-” Joey protests. There’s a sting and suddenly heat is rushing through his veins. It feels like he’s in an inferno and can’t breathe. Everything is too much: the itchy carpet that’s scratching at him from where his shirt got rolled up in the fight, the way the brunette’s hair is tickling his collarbone, the gentle pressure of someone carding their fingers through his hair. He can hear his own heart pounding in his ears and he can’t focus. His brain is jumping from sensation to sensation like they’re a flipbook. 

It’s too much and simultaneously not enough. He wants more. The problem is his brain can’t decide on what he wants more of. He lets out a low whine and the sensation is suddenly cut short. 

Joey hears someone -wait no that’s him- panting. His lungs are gasping for air like they’ve never breathed before. He feels blissed out and too hot. 

“And you said you weren’t a dog. You certainly sound like one.” Seto pats his cheek twice while he smirks. He has really full lips Joey realizes. He wonders how they would feel against his own, are they as soft as they look? 

Joey wants to say something. He feels like that was probably an insult but his brain is not totally all there right now. In fact, he’s having a hard time even piecing together what the brunette is referencing at the moment. 

The vampire turns to Mai, “He tastes like coffee.” Seto informs her, seemingly pleased by this revelation. 

“And you wanted to let him go. See this is why you should listen to me more often.”

Seto rolls his eyes again, “I highly doubt your idea to have sex on top of a skyscraper would have ended in anything but a tragedy. Still,” he licked his lips, “I must admit his reactions seem to be very heightened. It's quite enjoyable. I bet I could get him to beg from a bite alone.” 

Mai snorts, “Yeah, maybe if he could form complete sentences. He looks like you already fucked his brains out.” 

Joey feels lightheaded. The room is spinning around him and he’s not sure if it's the sudden blood loss or the fact that he’s pretty sure he just had an orgasm fully clothed. He feels himself flush in embarrassment before his brain kicks back on. 

“What are you doing to me?” Joey hisses. This isn’t normal. He shouldn’t be reacting like this. He should be terrified, he’s pretty sure the gorgeous vampire and his beautiful demon are going to bleed him dry and do who knows what to him, and here he can’t even get his mind out of the gutter. He should be fighting back, yet his body keeps relaxing and he can’t keep his thoughts straight. 

“Guess you’re not just a pretty face,” Mai said with a pleased rumble, “I’m a succubus, sugar, you’re just feeling the effects. You were already attracted to us. I could smell it when you walked in. I’m just helping you out, that and vampire bites have their own special flavor of happiness, relax darling,” She purrs, “You look like you need it.”

“How am- ah- ah” Joey groans as she kneads his thighs and reaches up palming him through his pants. He lets out a gasp at the friction. He bites down on his lower lip trying to fight back the wave of pleasure, “How am I supposed to relax when you two want to kill me?!” 

Mai stops her ministrations and Seto pauses his nips along Joey’s neck. 

“Kill you? Who said we're going to kill you?” Seto hisses in his ear, the brunette's eyebrows are tinged down in an irritated frown. 

“Figured it came with the territory.” Joey huffs out, taking a moment now that the duo had paused to get his thoughts in order. 

“Aww, sugar, no we aren’t going to kill you. We’re gonna fuck your brains out until you can’t remember your own name, let alone what we look like, then we’re gonna let you go. Its catch and release wouldn’t want to piss off the accord. Relax this is going to be fun!” With a little giggle, the demoness throws her hair back over her shoulder and gives Seto one final nuzzle before darting forward. Her lips meet Joey’s before he even has time to comment. They’re soft and warm and she tastes like honey. She wastes no time in finding the part in his lips and sliding her tongue inside. Joey feels his eyes droop close. He can’t focus on anything except for the way she’s nibbling and tugging on his lower lip. It’s hot and fast. When she finally pulls away a thin trail of saliva strings out between them. 

She licks her lips and turns back to her partner, “Seto, you’re wrong he doesn’t taste like coffee he tastes like sunshine.” 

“I have to disagree, I’m quite sure it was coffee,” The vampire seemed content to watch from his position atop his stomach. Joey slowly realized that sometime during the kiss the vampire had released his hands and moved back. Content to just watch his partner’s antics. He had a pleased smile on his lips and there was something hungry in his eyes. 

The demoness’s eyes flashed purple and she grinned, “I think you better take another taste.” 

“Perhaps I had best.” 

“Hey I ain’t a buffet-” Joey starts to protest when Seto flips one leg over him and slides off. Cool hands slide under his shirt. His skin tingles everywhere they touch. Then there’s a sudden feeling of weightlessness as he’s pulled forward into the vampire’s arms and up into the air. 

The vampire moves and Joey is unceremoniously dropped on the rumpled hotel bed. The white sheets jostling as he fights to sit up. He bounces as more weight follows him and settles on the bed. 

“There now that’s much more civilized,” Kaiba says with a grin that showcases his fangs. 

Mai rolls her eyes, and Joey can tell it must be an old argument, “There’s nothing wrong with fucking on the floor like a couple of animals. In fact, I think it’s better!”

Seto scoffs, “You would. But I happen to think mattresses are one of the better inventions that have come about in the last four centuries.” The vampire resumes nuzzling against Joey’s neck. Joey squirms away from him, feeling his body heat up in excitement at the small motions.

The succubus clicks her tongue and resettles her wings into a fold on her back as she arranges herself on the bed next to Joey and traps him between Seto and her. “You’re really just a prudish old man at heart! Now quit teasing the guest Seto and get on with it!” 

The vampire wastes no time. Joey’s raggy band t-shirt comes apart with one flick Seto’s clawed fingers. Goosebumps rise on his skin in the sudden cool air. The button on his jeans comes off with a snap, and the zipper is tugged down by Mai’s deft hands. She’s peeling his pants off and in two quick motions, his legs are exposed. Seto fingers the waistband on his boxers. 

“ **_Come here._ ** ” Seto orders, his eyes taking on that otherworldly light as he stares intently down. Joey doesn’t know why he doesn’t fight the fog overtaking his mind this time. He knows what Seto wants, he doesn’t know how he knows but something in the vampire’s intent has changed and Joey’s instincts are no longer screaming at him to leave. Instead, Joey leans upwards and crashes his lips into the brunette’s, surprised Seto tilts back but Joey doesn’t let him. He chases the kiss, keeping his lips sealed over the vampire's frigid skin. 

To his left Mai lets out a breathy wolf whistle and traces her fingers down his stomach. They’re butterfly touches, teasing and just light enough to remind him that she’s there and she has plans. 

When Seto finally manages to break the kiss-off Joey is panting. He licks his lips as he watches the disheveled vampire try to smooth his hair down. Seto meets his eyes with hunger and gives him a toothy grin.

“ **_Good boy._ ** ” He husks out, his voice is like velvet and Joey feels something in him melt. Mai suddenly decides she’s done waiting as her fingers plunge below his waistband and she uses her other hand to snake across the bed and pull Seto into a kiss of her own. 

Joey’s eyes widen as Mai finds the right angle and begins to stroke, tugging lightly at his half-hard dick. He bites back a string of curses or maybe a moan. He’s not t0o sure, his head is still a little fuzzy from whatever Seto did. All he knows is Mai knows what she’s doing with her hands, and she is more than able to multitask. 

“Alright, boys.” She says ending the kiss and giving both of them a hungry stare. Her breasts bounce as she sits back, “Are you ready to get this party started?” 

* * *

Joey feels fucking radiant. He’s tired and thoroughly fucked. Hell, he didn’t even know his body could have that many orgasms. But right now he feels at peace. Like he’s a leaf floating gently on the surface without a care. He’s light and feels safe. He can’t even remember the last time he’s felt this happy, never maybe. He lets out a contented sigh as he nuzzles in closer to Mai. She’s warmer even if she does have a slight hint of smoke on her. On his other side, Seto has his cool arm possessively wrapped around both of them. He’s not sleeping. Joey can see his eyes reflecting in the moonlight. Did vampires even sleep? 

Joey drifts off to sleep. An idle thought in the back of his mind that in a few hours he’ll have to leave this safety and get back on the road. 

* * *

“What was that?” Someone hisses next to him, Joey groggily mumbles something and clutches the pillow tighter around his head. It was too early for this. 

“I don’t know!” A male voice growls back with urgency. Joey makes another noise in protest and tries to ignore the voices.

“I thought he was human!” A female voice says again louder this time. 

Why can’t they just be quiet!? Joey rolls the pillow off of his face and sits up with a glare. He is not a morning person and whoever- “Mai? Seto? What are you guys still doing here?”

He’s met with two shocked looks from the supernatural creatures that Joey kind of thought were just a hallucinated dream. But nope here they are in the light of day. Huh, what’d you know apparently that myth about vampires turning to dust from sunlight wasn’t true either. 

It’s bright outside the window Joey can tell despite the curtained windows. His mind takes a second but then it glances over to the clock that reads 9:53 am. 

“Shit!” He yells as he half falls half tumbles out of bed in a rush to get his clothes. He’s late, he should have left hours ago! 

“Well obviously he’s not human,” Seto says from the pair's place on the bed, “Your magic didn’t work to wipe his memory and mine didn’t either. That coupled with the fact that he’s currently fucking glowing is a pretty big indicator that he’s not human.” 

Joey snaps his head around to stare at them. He pauses on his mission to slide his boxers off the floor and back on. Glowing? He was no- 

He glances down at his wrist. Holy shit! He was! There was a faint warm light radiating off his skin. He looked like a fucking firefly! 

Seto promptly rises, still as naked as the day he was born, and stomps across the hotel room. Joey stops his gaping at his skin long enough to shoot Seto an irritated look as he tilts his head back to peer down at the two bite marks on his neck. 

“Hey,” Joey says, trying half-heartedly to fight off the vampires controlling hold, “I ain’t breakfast.” 

Seto ignores him and Mai has now spread her wings and fluttered closer, floating in the air overhead as she inspects Joey. “You bit him! How could you not tell he wasn’t human?” She admonishes. 

The vampire doesn’t say anything as he sniffs the air and runs his tongue over his fangs nervously. After several minutes of silence, he lets out a groan, “Of course he was going to taste fucking like coffee. It’s the angel blood he was going to taste like whatever was most pleasing to us. He’s practically made of sugar and spice. That’s why you thought he tasted like sunshine. ” 

Mai lets out a little gasp, her purple eyes widening as she floats a little closer and runs a hand down Joey’s face. Joey shrugs her off and lets out an irritating hum. So he’s glowing, that's weird he definitely needs to stop pushing off that yearly check-up. But, he really needs to be on the road right now. Besides after last night, glowing is hardly the freakiest thing in the world. 

“That explains it but how-”

Joey cuts Mai off, “Excuse me, the human has something to say. He would like to know what the fuck is going on?!”

The couple turned to face him. Seto blinked and opened and closed his mouth. It was Mai that answered, “Sugar you’ve got some angelic blood in you.” 

Joey balks, he’s far from an angel. The raised scar tissue on his knuckles confirms it, “I’m not an angel.”

“She didn’t say you were an angel, idiot, she said you had angelic blood.” Seto scoffs. Really the guy might be good in the sack, but he has the personality of an asshole. 

Joey crosses his arms over his chest, “Well this has- uh been an enlightening night but I need to get going.” 

The two supernatural entities share a look, “You can’t leave.” Seto says his eyebrows are drawn together in concentration like he’s working on an unsolvable equation. 

Joey bristles and steps away from the demon and vampire, unzipping his duffle bag to find some non-destroyed clothes. “I think you’ll find that I can leave. I’m on a deadline. I need to be at my little sister’s wedding in two days. I’m walking her down the aisle.” 

“Honey, you have so much to learn. You have angel blood. You were lucky it was us that found you and not someone else. There’s a lot of things out there that wouldn’t hesitate to eat you or worse. Angel blood has a lot of power and can be a thorn in a lot of demons' sides.” 

“Yeah, well before last night I’d never met any demons and I hope I never do again, no offense to you two or anything.” 

Seto looks insulted and Mai looks amused, “That might be true goldilocks, but we couldn’t smell you last night and we definitely can now.”

Joey finishes pulling on his pants and tugs his beat-up sneakers over his socks, “I’m sure it’ll go away. Look I’m not even glowing or nothing now.” Joey held his wrist up for them to inspect and there wasn’t anything unusual about his tanned skin. 

“That’s not the way it works, moron. Your heritage became active. I’m not sure why, but it doesn’t matter it’s not just going to go away. If you walk out of here you’re going to get yourself killed.” Seto has his fangs gritted so tight Joey can practically see the aneurysm forming as the vampire looms over him. Once again between Joey and the door. 

Except, it was no longer last night. Joey no longer thought that either of his peculiar one-night stand partners was going to murder him. It was pretty obvious what with him still being alive in the morning. Honestly, he had expected them to leave before it got light. Not stick around cuddling him until he wakes up. Still, he had no intention of staying here or having a repeat of the prior evening, well except maybe the sex, he would definitely be okay with the sex again some point in the future. 

Joey jabs his index finger into the vampire’s chest, glaring up at him, “Listen here you bloodsucking leech! I don’t know you! I don’t know anything about this except that you’re obviously a vampire and she’s a succubus and some reason you guys were fucking in my hotel room. You guys were never even fucking polite enough to introduce yourselves. I bet you don’t even know my name! Now get out of my way.” 

Seto flushes and lets out a low growl, “Look, peasant-”

Suddenly Mai is there, a hand on his shoulder and a warning look in her eyes, “Seto he’s right we were very rude. I would have thought your sense of decorum would improve your manners.” The brunette clenches his jaw shut and shrugs past Mai and over to the closet where he proceeds to angrily dress in the bougiest navy suit Joey has ever seen. 

“I’m Mai Valentine ArchDuke of Hell and the one that you just called a bloodsucking leech is Seto Kaiba King of the Vampires.” Mai says, with a snap of her fingers she’s too fully clothed, though the tight purple leather bodice and skirt don’t leave much to the imagination, “Now sugar, we really are serious about you ending up dead if you don’t let us get you some kind of protection. The last time I heard about anyone with angel blood was during the Chicago’s World Fair and a demon built a whole murder hotel to keep her to himself.” 

Joey feels his remaining blood drain from his face. Mai’s words washed over him and yeah, some part of his brain was vaguely concerned about the term murder hotel, but with words, Vampire King and ArchDuke of hell kept circling in his mind. The Vampire King and an ArchDuke of hell? He’d slept with someone from hell? Oh, this was just his typical luck. He couldn’t just sleep with creatures from children’s nightmares. No, he had to go fuck the ones right at the top. He really needed to sit down.

“See Seto,” Mai smiles at him, her tone far too sugary, “Sometimes if you just explain things instead of issuing orders it works just as well.”

“It didn’t work that well. Look you’ve fried his brain again and you still didn’t get his name.” Seto has a briefcase in his hand and is tapping idly at a sleek smartphone.

“Name’s Joey Wheeler, asshole.” He bristles, “And you can’t keep me here.” He’s talking to Seto but is looking at Mai. Out of the two of them, the blonde seems to be more reasonable or at least nicer about getting what she wants. Joey still had a bump on his head from Kaiba last night. 

“I think it’s obvious. We can’t keep a little angel like you in a dingy hotel like this and you obviously have places you want to be. So we’ll just tag along. I think hell can wait for me a few more days or centuries. What do you say, Seto?”

Joey’s jaw drops. Tag along- “Hell no!” 

He is not taking a literal road trip from hell with these two all the way to California. 

Seto doesn’t even look up from his phone, “I’ll have to call Mokuba and let him know I’ll be late.” 

Mai nods, “Good, now that that’s decided. Let’s get this party moving sugar. You said you had places to be!” The blonde is pushing him out the hotel door, her horns and wings nowhere to be seen as Seto follows them out. The door shuts with a quiet click. The magnetic lock on the door flashes red once again. 

Joey is pretty sure this is not what Serenity meant when she said he could bring a plus one to her wedding. 


End file.
